Anxiety & Corona Virus: Practical Steps to Reduce Excessive Worry

What is anxiety? According to the Oxford Dictionary:
Anxiety: A feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome.
Vs.
Anxiety disorder: a nervous disorder characterized by a state of excessive uneasiness and apprehension, typically with compulsive behavior or panic attacks.
https://www.lexico.com/en/definition/anxiety

I want to tackle the first one: this anxiety most of us are feeling across the US.
Why should we be concerned about doing everything we can to lower our levels anxiety?
• Anxiety is exhausting
• Stress has a direct culprit in lowering our healthy immune response to illness
• Unchecked anxiety can lead to panic, which in turns compromises our ability to think clearly and affects our judgement, or our ability to make good decisions.

**If you find that in spite of doing some of the things I will be recommending, you still experience high levels of anxiety, panic attacks, an inability to function like you normally would, are experiencing stomach upsets, tightness in chest, and disturbed sleep, please see a professional. If you’ve been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder in the past, keep your treating professional in the loop about how you are doing in the midst of what’s been happening in our nation and around the world.

Having said that:

The first thing I’m going to do is tackle the root of anxiety and worry which is fear:
FACTS:
• As of today, the true epidemic is panic and panic is highly contagious. (Actualization 3/20/2020: There is a very serious situation happening with the fast propagation of this virus, however, panic continues to be present at toxic levels in our communities.)
• Corona virus mortality rate is about 1-2%, it is higher than the flu, however there are millions affected by the flu this year vs in the hundred thousands worldwide with Corona. (Actualization 3/20/2020: Current measures recommended today are in place to keep this virus from spreading to numbers like the influenza and also to not overwhelm the medical system at any given time.)
• That mortality rate is significant for people identified as high risk:
o Smokers, especially over 50 yrs old.
o Seniors, especially over 70
o Immune compromised individuals *(including children, adolescents & adults), due to disease or because they are taking immune suppressant meds. (*edited 3/20/2020)
o Those who are Pregnant
o As opposed to flu, children are not in the higher risk category. As of info today. (Edited with latest information from CDC as of 3/20/2020: “Information about COVID-19 in children is somewhat limited, but the information that is available suggests that healthy children generally have mild symptoms. However, a small percentage of children have been reported to have more severe illness. Children and adults with serious chronic medical conditions are believed to be at higher risk, as well as older adults. To protect those at higher risk, it’s important that everyone practices healthy hygiene behaviors.” This information is quoted directly from CDC website linked here.

Next we are going to confront two big, fear inducing words:
• Pandemic- which means new and widespread. It does not mean catastrophic or even imply high mortality
• State of Emergency- which is just declared in order to draw down government funding for prevention and treatment, that would otherwise be unavailable to the states.

One of the ways I typically intervene with people suffering with excessive worry, is that I ask them to answer some questions for me:
1. What is the worst thing that could happen? In this case, I’m asking specifically about the worst thing that could happen to you regarding corona virus.
a. FEAR: “The worst thing that could happen is that I or a loved one will die from it.” Ok, so let’s confront that fear head on. IF  YOU ARE NOT IN THE AT RISK POPULATION CATEGORIES I MENTIONED A FEW MINUTES AGO, DEATH FROM CORONA IS A NOT SOMETHING TO BE WORRIED ABOUT. Self-talk: “The chances of me                     dying from this are practically low.”
b. If you are a person in the at risk category you can say to your self:  “I’ll be as prudent as I can in following the    recommendations from the CDC. I’ll wash my hands and not take any unnecessary risks, in order to mitigate the possible effects of this virus on my health.”
c. FEAR: “What if I, or someone I love, catches this virus?” The virus is highly contagious. If you are not in the at-risk list, he virus will most likely feel like a nasty cold, or a very mild one. Self-talk: “I’ve had bad colds before, I’ll be ok.” Or “I’ve had the flu before, I’ll be ok.”
d. FEAR: “Everything is shutting down, what if I cannot work?” The government is being proactive in ensuring stability, economically and otherwise. Self Talk: “Things will go back to normal soon.”
e. FEAR: “What if we run out of toilet paper and can’t buy more.” I include this to lighten the mood, but this is a legitimate worry you should have…that’s what mass panic does my friends. Self-talk: “Maybe a neighbor will donate some for my family.”
2. The second question I would ask is: What is instigating or exacerbating your anxiety?
a. Is it your personality? Are you naturally prone to be an anxious person? Do you usually worry a lot? Remind yourself of that in order to gain perspective. Tell yourself, “I know I tend to worry more than most. Take a deep breath and let’s get the facts.”
b. Is it the exposure to media that is fanning the flames? Culprits:
i. Social media
ii. News agencies
If so. TAKE A BREAK. Pick a credible source of facts, like the CDC website, and stick to that, once per day. My      recommendation, do not do this first thing in the morning, nor last thing you do before you go to bed. Here’s a link to CDC Corona Virus info page: https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/index.html

And in case you were wondering, no, your aunt Maria form Hialeah is not a reliable source of health facts and news. So:
iii. Decrease your exposure to people in your life who are alarmists.
3. Behaviors to INCREASE:
a. Adequate sleep/rest time. I cannot emphasize this enough. Lack of sleep disrupts and exacerbates every area of your life.
b. Eat well
c. Exercise
d. Wash your hands

E. (added 3/20/20) Social distancing. This is for everyone’s benefit and it’s socially responsible to not spread the virus to individual who are high risk for complications. 

4. Get out of your head and serve someone else.
a. Do you know what population can be terribly impacted by this virus? The homeless. Most of them meet almost all of the risk criteria and they are not able to consistently keep up with hygiene protocols being recommend. When you go out to buy some hand sanitizer, grab a couple more and give to your local homeless people.
b. Do no contribute to the hype. Don’t post or share mis-information or even information that might be biased (news agencies) or flat out conjecture.

5. Think about the positives:
a. Everyone is washing their hands during flu season. Hurray! This will lead to lower numbers this flu season. I’m sure it’s saved lives so far this year.
b. Everything seems to indicate that it’s a seasonal virus. Eventually, it will die down.
c. Kids, it seems, are generally unaffected by this virus. Why? Still a big unknown, but I’m thankful for that. (edited with latest information from the CDC on 3/20/2020: “Information about COVID-19 in children is somewhat limited, but the information that is available suggests that healthy children generally have mild symptoms. However, a small percentage of children have been reported to have more severe illness. Children and adults with serious chronic medical conditions are believed to be at higher risk, as well as older adults. To protect those at higher risk, it’s important that everyone practices healthy hygiene behaviors.” This information is quoted directly from CDC website linked here.

6. Last, but not least, rely on your healthy spirituality. If you believe in prayer, pray for health for you and yours. Pray for peace if you are highly anxious. Do your part, certainly, (wash your hands often) and trust God for the rest. – 7 Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you. 1 Peter 5:7 www.biblegateway.com

For your wellbeing,
Sarah

Post Partum Depression: My Story

I recently posted these memes on my IG and FB pages as part of a series of short informational pieces I have been doing about depression in all it’s expressions.
Both of these images are from the Postpartum Stress Center.

This has been the post that has been most widely shared…EVER. Why? I’ll tell you why, because having a baby and all that comes with it is HARD, with or without adding the complication of postpartum depressions which is NOT JUST the baby blues. As a licensed therapist, I can give you all the clinical jargon in the world about symptoms, prognosis, medications, evidenced based interventions, etc, but what I really want to do is share from my own personal experience. Why? Because I want you to know that you are not alone.

What is postpartum depression? According to the PostPartum Stress Center, “Postpartum depression (PPD) is an umbrella term that refers to various mood or anxiety disorders which can follow childbirth. Perinatal depression and anxiety is the most common complication following childbirth, characterized by frequent crying, mood swings, irritability, extreme fatigue, difficulty concentrating, sleep problems, loss of sexual interest, pervasive anxiety, appetite changes, negative scary thoughts, feelings of inadequacy, ruminating, hopelessness and despair. In addition, thoughts of suicide and feelings of anger, rage, shame and guilt are often present.”

I experienced an a-typical, late-onset postpartum depression when my first born was about one and a half years old. It was the darkest, hardest time of my life. This is saying a lot, since, those first few months after birth were pretty stressful and hard, but this was different, way different. I experienced hopelessness, a deep sadness I could not shake, insomnia, panic attacks, negative and very dark, scary thoughts (among many of the other symptoms listed). Even the colors around me seemed muted. I struggled silently with this for almost a year. One day after a very scary incident, I realized I could not, literally, carry that around anymore. I was at the bottom of a deep pit with no way out. So, I made up my mind that I needed to DO something, or else I really felt like I was going to die. What I did took courage, humility, and consistency.

I told someone. That’s it. That’s what it took to get the ball rolling in my favor. One night, in the darkness of our room, I told my husband, “I think I’m depressed.” His answer, “I know.” That’s it, the cat was out of the bag, the door was open, and a sliver of light shone through. Then, I told my doctor, who listened and ordered a battery of blood tests that really helped to determine if my next course of action needed medical interventions. Then I told my Pastor, who prayed with me and really helped me to put a plan into action to help me deal with this monster that had hijacked my life.

Maybe you are wondering how I managed to get through the ugly, because, saying it aloud to someone, or several someones was a great first step, but by no means enough. Well, as suggested by the people who were now helping me, and with the tremendous amount of support from my husband, I did the following:
1. I planned intentional time for my self at least once per week. We hired a babysitter to take my toddler out 3 hrs every Wednesdays. It’s amazing what 3 hrs midweek did for me.
2. I joined a support group. It was not a traditional support group, but it served it’s purpose for me. I met with a group of women once weekly for bible study. The reason I picked that particular group was simply because they provided babysitting during that time. I ended up spending over 4 years in this group and it literally enriched my life in a million ways.
3. I cleared my plate. I was over committed with many, many things on my plate, and I took a sabbatical. Simply put, I said “NO” to the things that were sucking my energy.
4. I continued to talk about what I was feeling and experiencing. I did not discard the option of medications, because this was just a season and I did not have to be afraid of needing those.
5. I drew closer to God in my spiritual walk.
6. I remained CONSISTENT in #1-5 until I felt I was on the other side of the storm, and many of these I still do to this day.

Moral of this true story: Being a new mother, whether you are a first timer or a multiple timer…is HARD and it can be a scary, lonely place. YOU ARE NOT ALONE and YOU DON’T HAVE TO WALK THIS ROAD ALONE. Admitting you need help is not a sign of weakness, but the most courageous thing you can do for you and those you love the most. Having a support system wrap around you during this time can help in ways that you can not imagine. My prayer is that this inspires someone, somewhere, to take a step in the right direction. Postpartum depression is a serious condition, but with help, it’s a condition that can be resolved.

On a side note: When I went through this episode, I was already a licensed mental health professional … I say this so that you understand that people who have professions where they serve or help others are not exempt from mental illness. This is one of the main reasons why Bienestar Counseling & Education is geared towards providing support to those who serve others. Those who provide social services, teachers, ministers, doctors and nurses, first responders, etc … If you or someone you know needs to communicate, do not hesitate to do so.

For your wellbeing,
Sarah

Mood Independent

Meet JOE:

Joe has been dealing with feelings of depression for the past 6 months following a painful separation and subsequent divorce. His depressed mood has led him to experience frequent bouts of sadness, insomnia, weight gain, fatigue, and loss of interest in things he usually enjoyed. Over the past couple of months, his sad mood has taken a toll on his personal physical health, but also on the state of his home. Joe has found it hard to continue the upkeep of his home, especially his yard, which before had been a source of pride. Joe just does not have the desire, nor energy to mow the lawn and weed the garden. Yesterday, Joe received a letter from his homeowner’s association with a first warning to bring his yard to proper form.  Joe feels badly, but he also feels overwhelmed by the amount of work he has in his neglected yard.  These thoughts and feelings further feed into his depressed mood. When Joe simply does not feel like doing the work, what should he do?

If you have ever felt or behaved this way, you are not alone. At one point or another we all have decided to forgo something that we usually find pleasurable because we’re just “not in the mood.”  Sometimes our negative mood keeps us from enjoying time with our family, stealing from us abilities to make great memories with friends, and even keeping us from meeting our commitments and daily responsibilities. Our thoughts and behaviors affect our emotions, but often, our emotions dictate our behaviors.

Back to Joe: His depression keeps creating situations that further feed his depression. It’s a cycle that will continue unless he makes an important decision.

The next day, Joe wakes up once again feeling sad, overwhelmed, and embarrassed he let something he used to take pride in get in such disarray. He feels tired from not sleeping well and he knows that if he lets himself, he will have another unproductive day. Joe makes a decision. Even if he does not feel like it, he will weed the garden. It’s as good a place to start as any. It takes him most of the day, but Joe notices as he gazes at his weed free flower beds, that he feels good about himself, like he did something momentous. It’s the first time he’s felt anything positive in weeks. He also noticed that while busy he did not spend much time playing negative thoughts in his mind. 

Joe has taken the first step. He made a mood independent choice. Not really feeling motivated to do it, he sets out to do it anyway. At the end of the day he’s surprised AND glad he made himself weed the garden and decides to mow the lawn the next day.  As you can well imagine, Joe is slowly starting to realize that he does not have to be a prisoner, or puppet, of his own negative moods. As he activates into doing some of the things he used to enjoy, he is breaking the cycle and inserting a different outcome.

Joe gazes at his mowed law and clean flowerbeds. He’s tired, but satisfied in what he was able to accomplish. Having had to do so much work because he had let things go this far also made him think that maybe his depression is more serious than he wanted to believe. Joe decides to call his employee assistance program at work to find out what he can do to get out of this “funk.”

Maybe like Joe, you’ve had a rough season in y0ur life, and you’ve slowly watched the things you care about get neglected. Are you tired of letting your depressed or anxious mood plan the day for you or determine which important parts of your life you leave by the wayside? If your answer is: “Not anymore,” then it’s time for you to engage in some mood independent activities, and in doing so, bring y0ur self one step closer to your true self.  If you feel your anxiety and/or depression is stealing the essence of who you are, and you are not sure how to take that next step to wellbeing, call a professional mental health therapist and get the guidance and treatment you need.

For your wellbeing,

Sarah

 

DYI Anxiety Redux

We’ve all been there…the increased heart rate, the tense muscles, headaches, and overall feelings of being overwhelmed. This is anxiety. No…this does not mean you have an anxiety disorder, every one worries, everyone stresses over one thing or another. Sometimes we worry excessively over certain things. If your anxiety is causing you recurring sleepless nights, missed work, keeps you from enjoying activities with friends and family, or is making you physically ill, then a consultation with a professional is a good step to take.

If you are looking for some tips on curbing your anxious thoughts, and relaxing both your body and your mind, give the following DYI Anxiety Reduction activities a try:

  • Meditation

Meditation is a discipline proven to reduce anxious thoughts and feelings. Some people just need a quiet space, others use music, reading material, deep breathing exercises, progressive relaxation techniques, or some combination of these to meditate. You can read more about exactly how meditation reduces anxiety here.

  • Grounding

This is a great tool in effectively dealing with the strong, uncomfortable feelings  brought up by anxiety. Grounding techniques help you get out of your head and into the here and now, often resulting in a calming effect.  Curious? Check out this PDF with three great grounding exercises.

  • Praying

I am a big proponent of praying. The Bible says: Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; 7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus (Phillipians 4:6-7). I love this! Imagine your mind flooded with God’s perfect peace! Prayers don’t need to be long or eloquent, just heartfelt. Give it a try today. If you want to try prayer out, but would like to read more about it, Prayer and the Difference it Makes , is a great article. 

  • Exercise

My friend, Beth Vazquez, certified personal trainer and founder of Recess & Results, says the following about exercise and play:

“Exercise releases endorphins, natural “feel good” hormones that help enhance overall mood. When exercise is performed in a way that is play based, as with kids or family members, not only are endorphins released, but social bonds are strengthened and laughter often results. All of which reduce anxiety.”

Check out Beth’s blog for some great anxiety reduction play activity ideas you can implement today.

You see? Nothing fancy, just simple things we can all do our selves to reduce levels of anxiety. Leave us a comment and share with us how these worked out for you.

For Your Wellbeing,

Sarah